If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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