I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
