What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
