So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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