On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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