I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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