I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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