it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
