Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My vagina is officially offended.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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