He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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