He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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