so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
