That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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