i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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