When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize