Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My life is pants optional.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
