I could have mohawked her pubes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
