i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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