I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize