just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
