maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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