She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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