Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
