I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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