two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
