its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wish my penis had a tongue
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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