Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
