i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
