Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
