to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
