Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need water and some morals
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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