omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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