Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
