I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
