Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
