True but thats because hes a fetus.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
