i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
