Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
