i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
