Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
