What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
