you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
