apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
