I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
