If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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