Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
