OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
