Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
