They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
