youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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