just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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