i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
