I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
