You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
