This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
