She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Found the puke drawer
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
