Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
