whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize