I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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