I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
