All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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